


Don't trust your best friend to plan surprises

by Captain_Snark



Series: The valentine debacle [7]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Bad Puns, M/M, Oliver the Queen of Pettiness, it's just bad puns, seriously I have nothing else to tag this as
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 01:35:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11613198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Snark/pseuds/Captain_Snark
Summary: The Valentine Debacle returns! This time with kidnapping, handcuffs, bad puns and maybe Cisco is a good friend, maybe he's not. Len's still deciding. Oh, and Oliver gets revenge for a stolen painting, because he is the Queen of pettiness.





	Don't trust your best friend to plan surprises

**Author's Note:**

> This might very well be the last part of this series. Maybe. I'm not sure yet. But for now: please enjoy more bad puns at your leisure and excuse me for once again disappearing without a trace for a few months. Which is apparently my work ethic, oops. But for anyone who's interested, I've made a tumblr on which I intend to post fanfic stuff and pretty much coldflash and other ships. I don't know yet, but if you're interested, you can follow me over at: https://thecaptainsnark.tumblr.com/

Cisco would consider himself a smart man. He didn’t get through high school and most of college being called a nerd for nothing. He liked Star Wars and studied engineering, being called a nerd wasn’t very surprising in the grand scheme of things.

What was surprising, however, was that he was willingly pissing off Oliver Queen. You know Oliver Queen, who was the Green Arrow and shot people with arrows in his spare time. The same Oliver Queen who somehow had ties to the Russian mafia. Yes, that Oliver Queen. It was, for a self-proclaimed genius, not a smart move.

“No.”

“Okay, but consider this: we could really use your help.”

“He’s a criminal. He literally stole one of my paintings and you want me to help you on this?” Oliver asked incredulously.

Because leave it to Oliver Queen to hold grudges. The man probably saw holding grudges as an Olympic event and he was in it to win it. Gold medal for Oliver Queen, the Queen of pettiness. The man was rich, but sure one painting would be the start of his demise. If only the villains of Star City knew.

Cisco was aware that the whole thing was a long shot, so the fact that Oliver Queen was looking at him like he had just lost his mind was completely unnecessary. And honestly, Oliver had probably had worse ideas throughout the years and had no right to judge Cisco. Face paint to hide your identity? Close. Putting a colour in his vigilante name? Yeah, definitely worse.

“He gave you your painting back, though,” Cisco tried. After all, it was worth a shot.

“Barry gave me my painting back, I doubt he had much to do with it.” Oliver did seem to be considering, though, despite his protests.

After a minute of Cisco putting on his best pleading face and Oliver staring back at him, seemingly unimpressed, he sighed.

“Okay. But he gets what he deserves for stealing from me,” Oliver resigned.

“Deal!” Cisco shouted, maybe a bit too loud. But who cared, he had just somehow convinced Oliver that this was more important than a night of vigilante-ing in Star City. “But, don’t actually shoot him,” Cisco added as an afterthought, because Barry would kill him.

Oliver gave him that glare again. The one that said “Cisco, you’re wasting my time and you’re being an idiot.”

“Okay, fine. You can shoot him a little.”

“Deal.”

Which was how Leonard Snart found himself face to face with the Green Arrow in his own apartment. And seriously how did all these people know where he lived and break into his apartment that easily? You’d think as a master thief himself, Len would know how to keep people out of his own home.

The arrow that had missed his head to end up in his wall and the tranq arrow in his thigh had probably been two of the most satisfying arrows Oliver Queen had ever shot. They were also two of the scariest things to happen to Len. Not that Queen needed to know that. And if he screamed it was only at the thought of having to fix his wall from sharp arrow damage.

-

Len had no idea why Oliver Queen had decided that he needed revenge for his painting after almost a year. When he woke up in a room that was definitely part of Star Labs (it had that do-gooders and high-end technology vibe that he associated with Cisco), he could only imagine how team Flash had convinced Oliver Queen to go “ _you have failed this city_ ” and wreck his apartment. What he did know was that Barry needed less dangerous vigilante friends.

It was now definitely working point number 2 on their relationship list. Number 1 was: you’re a speedster and you can damn well try and be on time at least once in your life, Barry. Number 3 was: not everything needs to be a pun and you know it, Leonard. Which was cool and all, but Barry really needed to appreciate puns more.

He was handcuffed, which didn’t necessarily mean he was stuck, but he recognized the gesture for what it was. Because just leaving a note to come to Star Labs and stay in this one room on his own was too easy. Superheroes, no respect for good old fashioned note leaving. Len mentally added this as number 4 on the list.

It was about five minutes later that Barry showed up in a flash of lightning, Cisco hot on his tail. Barry was dressed in a suit and well, he looked nice. Really nice. And Len was definitely not distracted. Although he had no idea what Cisco had just said to Barry.

“Wait. A surprise? So there’s no emergency?” Barry asked.

“If there was, I wouldn’t have asked you to wear a suit, Barry.”

“Okay…. So what…” Barry started confused.

Cisco gestured at Barry to look into Len’s direction, which was when Barry finally realized they were not alone in the room. Which, Len now definitely know what working point number 5 was. Superheroes should at least have some special awareness.

“Len! What are you doing here? Wait. Why are you handcuffed?”

“I was hoping you could enlighten me on that subject,” Len replied. Shaking his hands so the cuffs rattled to underline his predicament.

“I had nothing to do with this, I swear!”

“Well, Barry, at this point, I’m bound to believe you.”

“A handcuff pun? For real?” Barry looked about ready to smack him on the head.

“What can I say? I like being consistent,” Len replied. “But honestly if you wanted me in handcuffs, there’s about a hundred more fun ways to do it.”

Barry’s face turns beet red at that. “I… err… Well…” Barry stammered before being interrupted by a gagging Cisco.

“Okay, so I don’t want to interrupt or anything, but… Seeing as you’ve somehow been together for a year now, we all thought you deserved the night off to celebrate. So I’ve convinced Oliver to take care of any potential Flash business, while Lisa has bribed and or threatened most of the rogues not to pull anything tonight.”

“You do realize you could have gotten me here by any other means than having Queen shoot me, right?” Len questioned.

“Yes.”

“That’s cold.” Len was almost impressed.

“Wait Ollie shot you???”

It would have been kind of endearing how shocked Barry sounded. If Cisco hadn’t just blatantly deadpanned a yes as if that was the end of the conversation. And if Barry himself hadn’t been shot by Queen as training. Cisco was a little shit and Barry should not be as shocked as he was.

“Yes,” Len told Barry.

“Yes, but it was a tranq arrow,” Cisco supplied, not sounding the least bit apologetic.

Barry looked absolutely flabbergasted as if Cisco had just committed treason of the highest order.  Which was slightly adorable, but Barry did not need to know that.

“Anyway, you two have fun on your date. I’ll be making sure Oliver doesn’t glare anything to death in the lab!” And with those wise words, Cisco left them to their own devices.

Len needed to have a strongly worded conversation with him later on why having your friend shoot your best friend’s boyfriend was not a thing you did. It was just not. Unless Cisco was thinking of going into villainy, because Len had to admit, Cisco had some useful talents for stealing.

“Wait! Cisco do you have the keys for…” Barry started but stopped mid-sentence as he heard Len drop the handcuffs on the ground.

“Don’t worry, Scarlet,” Len drawled in that voice that signalled a significantly bad pun to come and Barry already looked resigned to his faith. “The only key I need, is the key to your heart.”

“We’ve been dating for a year, Len, I think we’ve passed the cheesy pick-up line stage,” Barry commented. Shaking his head.

“Does that mean you’re not going to swoop me off my feet, pick me up and take me out?” Len replied, a grin slowly spreading across his face.

And sue Barry, okay. He laughed. We all have flaws. Maybe some puns were okay. But there was no way he was scrapping Len’s obsession with puns from its number 1 position on their relationship working points list. Sometimes you just want to have ice cream without any cold puns.

“Seriously, though, you need better friends,” Len told him.

“Because having criminals as friends is so much better.”

“Exactly, I’m glad you see my point.”


End file.
